One single event in a child's experience can have a long term impact on the growth and development of a child. For example, the simplest thing like a teacher screaming at a child for not raising their hand could impact that child's future confidence in public speaking. Mommys have to remain involved in the child's day even if we are not around. And nothing is more important than discussing the child's day.
Most of us go through the routine hug, kiss, “how was your day?”, “how was your lunch?” and “do you have any homework?”. But that initial conversation must go a bit further. You have to find a way to build trust with your child so they are willing to share the decisions they made today. At first you may think what decisions, all they do is school, recess and lunch. But it is those specific moments that a child will decide who they are in the social structure of their peer group. Are they the intimidating leader or an instigative follower? If you don't know your child how can you help them?
Kids have phenomenal memories therefore it is simply incumbent on us to extract the information. Here are a couple of alternative ways to help ensure your child is on the right track.
1) Open Ended Inquiries: Tell what your teacher did this morning when everyone arrived in the classroom. If you want to truly help your child you have to learn about the smallest details. This will help reach those unique moments of when a decision was made.
2) Allow the story to unfold but remain focused. It is important that you pay attention. Mommys, please don't ask questions while you are on the phone or texting or emailing. You have to show your child that this conversation is important. At the same time your child may not be willing to talk right now, so be patient.
3) When something is said about an event that occurred in the classroom that peaks your curiosity, you have to get to the root of the issue ASAP. This may mean you have to change your schedule for the following day.
I truly hope this helps a mommy with encouraging their child's success.
Your mommy supporter extraordinaire, Tomika Bryant