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What would you do?
I have always stayed in contact with my family. Given our very rough start in life, we just bonded through the adversity. Mike just doesn’t understand that my dad left when I was 14 years old. I was the eldest of three children, and when my dad left my mom broke down. She stopped going to work, and just disengaged. So I started taking care of the family. My mom went into family services for the monthly screenings, but I did the rest. Fortunately, we were all girls so we literally just re-used clothes constantly. But my girls, including my mom, are dependent on me and I’m OK with that.
My husband is the opposite. Mike wants them to just handle their problems on their own. He doesn’t want our phone to ring at the last-minute because my youngest sister didn’t have money to pay the electric bill. And when my mom calls… WOW! He is just straight disrespectful to her. Mike will even lie and say I’m not home or turn off my cell phone if he sees she is trying to reach me. I am like stuck between two worlds… My family who I have cared for the last 20 years and the man who I married just eight years ago.
the Mommies: I want to tell you that he is right. That you should focus on your new family, but Mike knew about this since day one. Why now is it such a big deal?
Mona: Let me say that we are definitely blessed. And we are in a good position right now financially, but that is really dependent on how much my family needs month to month. So some months we are struggling because we need to help my mom or my sisters.
the Mommies: Mona I get it, but everyone you are talking about are adults. Why do YOU have to be the one to save them constantly? Yet I understand your frustration. And let me say regardless of what’s going on, Mike should not be trying to get in the way of you and your family. That disrespectful stuff to your mom is totally unacceptable.
Mona: I know! I know! I feel like if I help my family I am turning my back on Mike. And if I listen to Mike, I am turning my back on my family.What would you do?